Last night has to be the BEST Parents’ Evening Ever!
Last night I came out of David’s school feeling absolutely euphoric. Now, this is my second son – the cheeky, jokey one who talks too much in class. He has always done pretty well academically. The issue has always been his smart-arse talk in class. He plays the joker too much, delighting his classmates but frustrating his teachers.
There has been times when I have come out of the teachers’ meetings feeling that they had been dredging deep for good, positive things to say amidst delivering the bad news.
Last night has not been without the usual comments about his cheekiness. One long suffering teacher is pretty certain David has been purposely writing in block letters as opposed to cursive, joint up letters just because he knew it annoyed her. However, they were very tidy block letters and the content of his work was excellent.
The surprise came from his class teacher who said that he has been an absolute joy to teach since the year started in January. She also said he scored the highest marks in his group at a 3 day school activity trip they went to in February. David participated enthusiastically in all the activities and showed leadership skills. Everyone, from the teachers to the pupils, were astonished. I was gob-smacked too. David did not tell me this.
And the best comment from his teacher? That she thought David was a truly honest child. He does not lie nor ever deny being naughty when he is confronted. He has always owned up to being the perpetrator and accepted responsibility for his wrong-doing. He took on his punishments and just moved on with his happy little life after that. She said, as a teacher, she truly appreciated that honest trait in a child and she thought he was really well brought up in that respect.
I was so touched by what she said that tears just welled up. That was such a kind and true observation about David. As a mother who deals with him on a daily basis, I had not noticed that trait in him. It took an outsider to see this in him to remind me what a lovely soul David has.
This reminds me of what I have read in a book written by Dr Wayne Dyer – “What do you really want for your children?”. It was a truly thought provoking and inspiring book on child rearing. One of the things he said was to teach children to take personal responsibility for their inner worlds. This means no “blaming” for what happens in their life.
One of the examples that caught my eye was the observation that when a small child is reprimanded too much for little accidents (being clumsy, spilling milk, etc), he develops a defensive mechanism by blaming – “It is not my fault”, “It was Johnny, not me”. He advocates teaching a child to think and say, “It was my fault. I shall be more careful next time.”
And this attitude of not blaming, and taking responsibility for our actions and outcomes is something I truly want to impart to my children. And I am truly happy that a small part of this can be seen in David and, now that I think about it, also in my older son John.
I feel truly blessed.