I love this Mark Twain quote. It encompasses my philosophy in life now – to live a life with no regrets and to dream and explore.
For many years, I have not allowed myself to truly dream of my deepest desires. Life was busy with bringing up children and working full time, juggling finances and worrying about the household tasks. The proverbial juggling of too many balls in the air. And one day, I “woke up” and realised that I could not recall how the last ten years of my life had gone by. I was tired. I was feeling fed up and unloved. I felt that everything was on my shoulders and I was weary of life.
A few years ago, I took a big decision that was both frightening and difficult. In making that decision, I felt I had let someone down badly. I would have abandoned my wedding vows to be with someone for the rest of my life. I did not know how my future would pan out. I feared loneliness in the future and possibly being destitute in my old age. I would have no financial fall back and I would be relying on my own two feet for my financial future. I was absolutely terrified.
I thought about my decision long and hard and I felt that was the right thing to do. I wanted my partner to have a chance to find love again with someone else. I had run out of love for him and could not see that changing. I needed to leave the safe harbour so I could explore new horizons. And I knew I needed to do it for my own sanity and happiness.
And so I took my first step into the unknown.
Three years down the line, as I look back, I truly have no regrets. Not everything went according to plan, but nothing too horrible had taken place. Life has moved along. I continued in my work, setting up my own consultancy company. I explored new business opportunities and started a new business on the side. I made my own decisions on how I spend my time and money. I started to explore new experiences and places. Some of my dreams have come true and others are still to come in the future. It has been a period of discovery – I found out that I was capable and was strong enough to manage on my own. And the best discovery? I am not on my own. I will not be lonely after all. My family and friends encompass me with their love. What more can I ask for?